ok, so i have a secret. it's a big secret. like a big, huge, monstrous, size of my waist line secret.
i'm fat. you could say pleasantly plump, big boned, or large and in charge to name a few, but in the end i'm just fat. i haven't been this way forever, but it's been a while. a long and unhealthy while. i'm not going to get into the nitty gritty past right now... who knows if ever... but what i will divulge to my adoring public is my present and hopefully my thinner, healthier future :)
after trying this, that, and the other thing, i've been given the amazing, generous, can-never-possibly-pay-you-back-for-this, opportunity to join Medifast, which is a medically supervised weight loss program for those who need to lose 10 or 15 pounds all the way to people that are looking to lose a person or two... like myself. as of this Thursday, i will have been in the program for a whopping 2 weeks and what i can say is... it's hard. not like "i'm a starving and need a big mac!" hard, more like old habits die hard... hard. see i had been living this lifestyle... this tasty, unhealthy lifestyle for years and it was easy and it had become such a comfortable blanket that i had put around myself. i think that being fat is kind of that way... although there are some aspects that are very hard, worrying if you're going to fit/break that chair, not being able to wear trendy clothes (mumus for the fatties!), or DYING... it becomes such a cozy, warm, comfortable blanket that you wrap around yourself, that taking it off is like trying to get out of bed on an icy Minnesota winter morning. you just don't wanna. so you press snooze... snooze... snooze... snooze... and soon you wake up and you don't even recognize the person staring you back in the mirror.
i finally accepted that it was time to stop pressing snooze and i woke up. it's a pretty exciting feeling when you open you're eyes and really see all of the possibilities out there and realize that mumu's and broken chairs don't need to be and WON'T be your present or your future. like i said, this transition has been hard and i haven't been perfect. i've slipped up here and there, but i think that the most important thing is that i'm awake. i'm no longer pressing snooze. i can feel myself getting mentally and physically stronger with every passing day and it feels pretty damn good.
i'm fat. you could say pleasantly plump, big boned, or large and in charge to name a few, but in the end i'm just fat. i haven't been this way forever, but it's been a while. a long and unhealthy while. i'm not going to get into the nitty gritty past right now... who knows if ever... but what i will divulge to my adoring public is my present and hopefully my thinner, healthier future :)
after trying this, that, and the other thing, i've been given the amazing, generous, can-never-possibly-pay-you-back-for-this, opportunity to join Medifast, which is a medically supervised weight loss program for those who need to lose 10 or 15 pounds all the way to people that are looking to lose a person or two... like myself. as of this Thursday, i will have been in the program for a whopping 2 weeks and what i can say is... it's hard. not like "i'm a starving and need a big mac!" hard, more like old habits die hard... hard. see i had been living this lifestyle... this tasty, unhealthy lifestyle for years and it was easy and it had become such a comfortable blanket that i had put around myself. i think that being fat is kind of that way... although there are some aspects that are very hard, worrying if you're going to fit/break that chair, not being able to wear trendy clothes (mumus for the fatties!), or DYING... it becomes such a cozy, warm, comfortable blanket that you wrap around yourself, that taking it off is like trying to get out of bed on an icy Minnesota winter morning. you just don't wanna. so you press snooze... snooze... snooze... snooze... and soon you wake up and you don't even recognize the person staring you back in the mirror.
i finally accepted that it was time to stop pressing snooze and i woke up. it's a pretty exciting feeling when you open you're eyes and really see all of the possibilities out there and realize that mumu's and broken chairs don't need to be and WON'T be your present or your future. like i said, this transition has been hard and i haven't been perfect. i've slipped up here and there, but i think that the most important thing is that i'm awake. i'm no longer pressing snooze. i can feel myself getting mentally and physically stronger with every passing day and it feels pretty damn good.
